This isn’t something I would share, but this one, it is something. I was never so influenced by my own music, I always listen to my on repeat for 2 or 3 days with critical ears, I will never have such critical ears when I’m listening to my favorite artist or any other artist. If you are someone like me, then you should get rid of such critical ears and go easy on yourself.
So I was listening to my new musical piece, just to see if I did well there and check if there was anything that needed my attention. it has a melancholic tone. I can’t say how many times I played it on repeat but every time I played it, I wanted more of it, with that melancholic tone it felt like I was giving myself the permission to open my wounds again. Months have gone, since I lost my lover and a friend. When the violins start playing I could see them, it is something I don’t want to see or be reminded of.
When I’m dealing with such mundane things that I can’t handle, normally I watch some animal documentary or a documentary on space and universe or play games, it helps me to maintain my calm, at least to some extent. This time around, I painted this picture, I was still under the spell of my music. It was playing in the background.